Reviews - Movies on Television
Critters 3
The Krites are back. Again! And this time they take over ... an apartment block in the Big City!This movie is notable only for the presence of that disgustingly cute little monster that everyone wants to see get squished - yes, that's right, the young Leo DeCrapio!
The humans are boring and pathetic characters - the alien Krites are far more interesting. They have a Gremlins-style food fight, which shows that they can have fun - but these certainly are not the super-intelligent species they were originally meant to be. And the absense of the Bounty Hunter [Terence Mann] is terrible; his halfwit sidekick [Don Opper] is no replacement!
Also, there is no tension; the humans have miraculous last-minute saves, as opposed to the gruesome deaths that are standard in such films [and which the characters so richly deserve].
Critters 4
The Krites are back. Again! And this time they take over ... a starship in the far future!This piece of straight-to-video trash is notable for two reasons. Firstly, it blatantly rips off Alien 3 - secondly, it was itself ripped off by Alien 4! The only notable cast member is Angela Bassett , who features in a shower scene that clearly inspired the Foot-massage scene in Alien 4: Resurrection.
My Stepmother is an Alien
Typical 1980s fare - a scientist wants to communicate with aliens. One of them secretly comes to Earth in the guise of a beautiful woman, and tricks him into marriage so she can steal his secrets.Notable these days not for the top-billed stars (Dan Akroyd and Kim Bassinger ) but for the child stars it introduced. Yes, Buffy stars Alyson Hannigan and Seth Green played together way back then!
Originally the story was an allegory for child abuse; after 2 official rewrites (ie at least 50% of the script was rewritten - TWICE!) the child abuse angle was mostly sublimated.
The Wicker Man
A Police Sergeant (Edward Woodward - B5: Crusade ) goes to a remote Scottish island to find a missing girl. He uncovers a Pagan cult, with a plan for human sacrifice ...When asked what was his favourite film that he had appeared in, Christopher Lee named this one. And no surprise - it is one of the finest British horror films ever made!
Britt Eckland is quite convincing - this reviewer usually associates her with the bimbo role in Man with the Golden Gun (which also starred Christopher Lee). However, it has become apparent that she had both a voice-over (which explains her Scottish lilt) and a body-double for the nude dance scene. The question that remains; how much of the role did she really play?
The Christian fundamentalism displayed by Edward Woodward's character works to make the downbeat ending even more powerful. To think, the role was originally cast for Peter Cushing. There's a thin line between art and dross.
Evil Dead 2
Ash (Bruce Campbell - ) and friends go to a remote cabin in the woods. Unfortunately, the woods are full of demons ...This has been described as a big-budget remake of the original. It is notable for the presence of Theodore Raimi in the credits - usually he prefers to be called Ted. Now, it is widely known that Ted Theodore Raimi has appeared in everything his brother (director Sam Raimi ) has ever produced, but being used as a monster in makeup in a film so violent it was censored in the UK is not the kind of thing one would want to find on the resume of a serious actor.
Ted went on to co-star in Seaquest , and is now best known for the role of Joxer the Mighty in Xena . However, the role that this reviewer will always remember him for is as Pamela Anderson 's boyfriend in Baywatch!
The ending, like that of the first movie (and the third film's UK release) is rather downbeat. However, although it is a definite set-up for a sequel (which paid off five years later) it was well set up by plot revelations earlier in the film.
One cannot help but compare this, as Raimi's second feature, to George Miller 's sequel, Mad Max 2, AKA Road Warrior . While Miller's film is a mature work that features nail-biting action, Raimi directs with a preference for gimicky close-ups. Raimi's work on Dark Man was incredible, but the Evil Dead series fails to deliver all it promises.
Zombie Flesh Eaters
[AKA Zombie]A handful of American civilians go to a small island where people have gone missing.
Like other Lucio Fulchi films, this is a well-made piece of gory Euro-trash. Watch out for the underwater scene where the zombie battles the shark - it's a real eye-opener, and not just because of the topless woman SCUBA-diving!
One thing I do wonder about, though - why does a small tropical island have so many dead people it can field a small army of zombies?
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