Abduction Club (2002)

This is a light-hearted romantic swashbuckler set in Ireland, circa 1780. Alice Evans and Sophia Myles are a pair of heiresses who are kidnapped by the Abduction Club, impoverished young men who want to marry rich women.

Unfortunately, The Powers That Be (including Edward Woodward - Wicker Man ) frown on such behaviour, and intend to hang the abductors!

Barry Lyndon (1975)

This was written, directed and produced by Stanley Kubrick , but it is adapted from a novel by William Makepeace Thackery.

The protagonist (Ryan O'Neal - ) is a reluctant adventurer who wins a duel against Captain Quinn (Leonard Rossiter - ), deserts from the British and then the Prussian armies, and ends up marrying above his station. So far, so much an Eighteenth Century version of Flashman . Perhaps a better comparison might be a male Becky Sharpe, the protagonist of Thackery's far more famous novel Vanity Fair.

The final section of the story is about Barry's unhappy marriage to the widow Lady Lyndon. Everything that seems to go wrong for characters seems to be self-inflicted. For example, Barry's marriage is unhappy because he is a terrible husband. His stepson is worried that Barry's investments will ruin the inheritance, but it is the stepson's actions that sabotage the investments. And finally, Barry shows mercy in the hope it will be reciprocated ...

So why is this movie not better known? Kubrick fans never stop talking about it, but beyond them there is no cultural impact. Perhaps it is because the title character is played by Ryan O'Neal, a one-hit wonder who was only cast because he was at the top of the box-office the previous year.

The Duellists (1977)

A French officer (Harvey Keitel - Saturn Three ) wins a duel with a German civilian. Another officer (Keth Carradine - ) is sent to retrieve him, to be punished by the General. The duellist is offended, and thus begins a life-long rivalry bwtween the two men.

Although the story involves the French army, most of the cast are English. The notable exception is Keitel, a New York native who acquits himself marvelously.

This movie is famous as the directorial debut of Ridley Scott .

The Last Duel (2021)

This starts with the title event - a medieval duel to the death between two armoured knights. However, the main story itself is about the events that led up to it.

The first version of the story is from the perspective of Sir Jean de Carrouges (Matt Damon - The Martian ), a bloodthirsty French knight. He was once friends with Jacques Le Gris (Adam Driver - Star Wars: TROS ), but their feudal overlord Pierre d'Alençon (Ben Affleck - Daredevil ) gave preferable treatment to LeGris. Carrouges' bitterness grew, until the final event that gave him an excuse for the duel - LeGris allegedly raping Carrouges' wife.

The second version shows mostly the same events, but from the perspective of LeGris. He hangs out with his loyal minion, Adam Louvel (Adam Nagaitis - Gunpowder Milkshake ), and works hard for his success.

The third version of events is by the wife, Marguerite de Carrouges ( Jodie Comer ). Both the male characters treat her in a less than perfect manner, which takes the story in a different direction. Affleck and Damon may have written the mens' parts, but this female perspective seems to have been written by the female writer who received co-writer credit.

The climax is the duel itself - a visually spectacular sequence to remind us that director Ridley Scott also created the impressive Gladiator (2000) .

Last Knights (2015)

Raiden (Clive Owen - King Arthur ) is a loyal knight, commander of the garrison of Lord Bartok (Morgan Freeman - Shawshank Redemption ). Unfortunately, a rival aristocrat has become the Emperor's right-hand man. When Bartok refuses to pay his rival a bribe, the House of Bartok is put in peril.

A knight without a master is but a wanderer. Raiden reverts to his former alcoholism, while the rival aristocrat spends the next year fortifying his residence. However, Raiden's Lieutenant Cortez (Cliff Curtis - Fear the Walking Dead ) has a plan.

The story is clearly based on the real-life tale of the 47 Ronin , while the director is Korean. This explains the strong Asian themes on honour and loyalty. However, the setting is a strange never-land inspired by European medieval fantasy but with a colour-blind casting. The result is an enjoyable movie, but it is so straightforward as to be predictable. The final battle scene is worth the hour-long wait, however.

Queen of Spades (1949)

Napoleon is conquering Europe. Russian army officers spend their time playing cards.

Saraband For Dead Lovers (1948)

This is based on a book that is itself based - if somewhat loosely - on historical events. It is the first colour film made by Ealing Studio, and it is not a comedy.

The story is set in the state of Hanover, in what was later to become Germany. It starts in 1726, with a framing story about how the Hanoverian King of England kept his estranged wife imprisoned. She is on her deathbed, so she narrates an extended flashback that makes up the entirety of the story. This goes on for a couple of hours, so it seems that death-beds are not what they used to be.

The Elector of Hanover is the cousin of the King of England, and if the current line of succession ends then the Elector's family have a claim to the throne. The Elector's mistress, the Countess Platen ( Flora Robson ), works tirelessly to help the House of Hanover in its quest to improve its standing in the Germanic states. If the Crown Prince, George, marries the virgin daughter of the neighbouring King then they will become more influential internationally, with the long-term goal of the English throne. Unfortunately the arranged marriage is an unhappy one, especially for the young Princess.

Konigsmark (Stewart Granger - Moonfleet ), a rich adventurer, arrives in town. This newcomer is presented as being a noble and heroic figure, although if this movie were made decades later it would be a prime example of the untruthful narrator. He mentions how his brother was tried for murder in England: one suspects that no brother exists, and that it was Konigsmark himself who was the (accused) murderer. Anyhow, he makes an alliance with the Countess and ends up spending a lot of time with the Princess.

The Countess is the most interesting character in the story, although she is presented as an antagonist. Well, she is the protagonist's love rival. She later mentions that she is forty-four years old: in reality, the actress was forty-six this was released but somehow she seems older. Anyhow, Konigsmark has to choose between youth and experience - or between a single woman and a married one.

This may not be a swashbuckler, despite the historical setting, since the focus is on romance and politics rather than fighting. However, the thrilling climax needs a bit of sword-play. Luckily, Lieutenant Durer (Anthony Quayle - ) has been lurking in the background in a few scenes. He works for the Countess, and as a soldier he is pretty handy with a blade.

Attila (2001)

King of the Huns, Steven Berkoff ( Octopussy ) takes his orphaned nephew Attila (Gerald Butler - Dracula 2001, Lara Croft: Cradle of life, 300 ) as protege. Rome finally realises the danger the Huns represent. The Emperor's mother, Alice Krige , orders the release from prison of her political rival, Rome's greatest General (Powers Booth - Agents of Shield ).

Attila falls in love with peasant girl Simone MacKinnon .

Part 2

The Eastern Emperor (Tim Curry - Rocky Horror picture Show ) plots against Attila. Worse, the Emperor's sister makes her own plays for power. Attila finally gets an excuse to invade Rome. This brings him up against his old mentor, Powers Boothe ( Agents of SHIELD )!

Beowulf (2007)

This is the oldest story in the English language, re-told in the most modern story-telling format. The characters are idealised versions of the actors who portray them, and the animation ensures that the blend between actors and SPFX is seamless.

A Viking feast is attacked by a monster named Grendel. The King (Anthony Hopkins - Silence of the Lambs ) invites monster-slayers to save his people, and Beowulf (Ray Winstone - Robin of Sherwood ) arrives. The King's advisor (John Malkovich - Being John Malkovich ) has his doubts, but Beowulf faces the monster in battle ...

As anyone familiar with the story will know, the real danger is not Grendel but his mother. Here the writers (including Roger Avery ) have taken extreme liberties with the source material . She is now a seductive demoness who looks like Angelina Jolie and speaks with a dodgy Russian accent. She makes a deal with Beowulf - a deal he may regret!

Beauty and the Beast (2003) AKA Blood of Beasts AKA Blood of the Vikings

Viking warriors Sven (William Gregory Lee - Xena: Season 6 ) and Erik (Justin Whalin - Lois & Clark ) are best buddies, united by their anachronisms. Sven used to compete with Ragnar for marriage to Princess Freya ( Jane March ), but now he has no rivals for the throne.

Anachronistically, Freya insists on marrying for love. However, this would mean that the throne would only go to the one she chose for herself. She is still mourning Ragnar, who went missing on Monster Island three years previously. Just in time, her father the King sends the young warriors to invade Monster Island and kill the monster. When the quest is over, Sven will get the girl. That is the plan, anyway. But she makes Sven promise to return with her father in one piece - thus obliging him to die in the old man's service. Yes, she sends him on a virtual suicide mission.

On the island, the Vikings get taken apart by a single warrior clad in a bearskin, perhaps a sartorial reference to the Kurgan's battle costume in Highlander . This is far closer to The Seventh Warrior than the more supernaturally inclined Beowulf . Sven chooses to save his buddy Erik rather than the King. The Vikings take that as a terrible crime - especially Freya, who makes her own choice of love over duty but berates Sven for doing the same. Even Erik, the one that Sven saves in the name of friendship, abandons his best friend.

Freya is a trainee Shield Maiden, so she takes her handmaiden and goes on a quest of her own.

Green Knight, The (2021)

2000

Grendel: Legend of Beowulf (2007)

The Danes of the Dark Ages are being murdered in their feast hall every night. King Ben Cross ( First Knight ) is desperate, but his pseudo-psychic wife Marina Sirtis tells him that help is en route. Sure enough, Beowulf (Chris Bruno - Dead Zone ) and his band of Gittes arrive. The good news is, Beowulf’s crossbow fires 40mm rocket-grenades. The bad news is, he misses repeatedly at point-blank range. The Gittes meet Grendel in the forest, and chase him off. How easily they could have ended the film if they were actually as good at fighting as their reputation suggested.

Grendel is a predictably poor CGI monster, But this is a SyFy Channel production so will always suffer in contrast to big-budget efforts like the Beowulf film that came out around the same time. However, except for the crossbow this is actually a more faithful retelling of the story. Also, the CGI may suck but some of the acting is quite good.

Hammer of the Gods (2013)

King Arthur (2004)

Arthur (Clive Owen - Sin City ) is a Roman officer. He is sent north into Scotland, which has been invaded by crossbow-wielding Saxons led by Stellan Saarsgard ( Ronin ). En route he saves Guinevere ( Keira Knightley ), warrior princess of the Picts.

Ray Winstone ( Beowulf ) is one of Arthur's loyal followers.

This version of the Arturian Legend attempts authenticity instead of the typical OTT approach. Unfortunately, it quickly sinks into ridiculousness.

Excalibur

First Knight

The Last Legion

King Arthur And The Knights of the Round Table (2017)

This was made by The Asylum, infamous for cheap schlock. They must have blown the budget on the first five minutes, shot on location in a cave with an impressive stalagtite formation. Arthur and his knights wear impressive late-medieval plate mail, from many centures after their own era in the early middle ages. An easy mistake to make - even Excalibur (1981) ) had the same problem.

Morgana ( Sara Malakul Lane ) and Mordred failed in their attempt to overthrow Camelot. Merlin curses them with eternal life and imprisons them in a cave, like in Merlin: The Return (2001) . Then Arthur takes things a step further, and shoots them into space like in Austin Powers (1997) .

The action moves forward to the modern day. It takes place in Asia, so it is one of the most unusual Arthurian stories you will find. The swordfighting has been replaced by stick-fighting, and the descendents of the Knights of the Round Table are ex-pat UK martial artists. The prison asteroid completes its orbit and returns to Earth.

Morgana sends Mordred out to do her bidding. However, he is not a mindless servant like her brainwashed lackeys. Instead he shows some actual character development, and tries to defect to the good guys.

The climax has Morgana use her magic to enlarge herself. Godzilla style, she tries to stomp the entire city. Again, this is a very original take on the Arthurian legends.

King Arthur: Excalibur Rising (2017)

This opens at the battle of Camlann, 520CE. Two sides fight - the Knights in chainmail, the others in peasant rags, although somehow everyone has a sword. King Arthyr dies heroicly, which means the movie is mis-titled since he is hardly even in it.

Nineteen years later, Morgana is still in charge. She conducts human sacrifices, using the grail to collect virgins' blood so she can keep herself and Mordred alive. They control the local Lord, who is making a deal with the invading Saxons.

The main story involves Owain, who is meant to be nineteen but looks a decade older. He eventually wields excalibur, a magical sword that makes him an invincible fighter. It even manages to penetrate and fully impale a man wearing a chainmail shirt! Owain turns out to be Arthyr's illegitimate son - although Mordred is the product of incest AND illegitimate into the bargain.

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword (2017)

This starts with Camelot under siege by Mordred, who has an army of Mages travelling aboard Heffalumps. These are not Hannibal Barca's war elephants, they are the size of Kaiju! Luckily King Uther (Eric Bana - Hulk ) is a one-man army who can defeat the Mages single-handedly.

Vortigern (Jude Law - AI: Artificial Intelligence ) sacrifices his wife Elsa ( Katie McGrath ) to Lovecraftian mermaids ( Eline Powell, Hermione Corfield ). If nothing else, this is masterful casting: McGrath was best known for her role in the Arthurian show Merlin , while Powell took the lead role as a mermaid in Siren and Corfield starred in a sea-monster movie named Sea Fever .

Camelot falls, and Arthur is raised in a brothel in Londinium. He grows up in an Oliver Twist lifestyle, learning Kung Fu in the local Chinese dojo. By the time he is old enough to be played by Charlie Hunnam ( ) he leads a Mockney Gangster gang that includes Back Lack (Neil Maskell - Kill List ). This is typical Guy Ritchie stuff, which works okay with his Sherlock Holmes movies but clashes terribly with this movie's OTT Fantasy setting.

Vortigern has a new wife, Maggie ( Annabel Wallis ), and an army that includes Trigger (David Beckham - ) in a gratuitous celebrity cameo. They aim to locate the missing heir by forcing every male of the appropriate age group to try pulling the sword from the stone, and branding everyone who fails.

The good news is that most of Uther's top advisors escaped, and are now resistance fighters against the usurper. Sir Bedivere (Djimon Honsou - ) and Goosefat Bill (Aiden Gillen - Game of Thrones ) are familiar faces.

It turns out that Uther's superpowers came from his sword, which he had magically inked to his bloodline. Once Arthur gets the sword, and gets his mojo back so he can wield it properly, he becomes an indestructible superhero. However, at least the main antagonist has supervillain powers so it is more of a fair fight during the climax.

Excalibur

First Knight

The Last Legion

The Last Legion (2007)

This is set in the 5th Century of the Common Era. The Roman Empire is crumbling, so Iain Glen ( Lara Croft, Resident Evil III ) declares his young son as Emperor. Naturally, the Goths are revolting - and not just to look at! Rome is sacked ...

A motley band of Imperial Loyalists try to save their young Emperor. The tutor Ambrosinius (Ben Kingsley - Sound of Thunder ) and General Colin Firth ( ) end up taking the boy to Britannia, where the Last Legion is garrisoning Hadrian's Wall. They are pursued by villainous Goths Kevin McKidd ( Rome ) and James Cosmo ( Braveheart ), and Ambrosinius also has some local enemies to deal with!

Although this is based on a book, it apparently does not follow it very closely. It certainly does not pretend to follow the historical facts, although it is nice to see a new take on the Arthurian legends. To sum the film up: the babe ( Aishwarya Rai ) is the best fighter of the lot. Yes, it is THAT kind of film!

Excalibur

First Knight

King Arthur

The Northman (2020)

Amleth is the young son of the Viking King (Ethan Hawke - Gattacca ) and the Princess ( Nicole Kidman ). Unfortunately the King's brother (Clae Bangs - Dracula ) decides to usurp the throne. He kills the King and the peasants, although Amleth escapes the slaughter.

Decades later, Amleth has grown up to become Erik Northman ( True Blood ). He is a great warrior, but when he learns that his uncle is still alive he decides to give up everything he has earned in exchange for revenge. He disguises himself as a slave, and joins a group that are transported to his Uncle's lands in Iceland. A fellow slave ( Anya Taylor-Joy ) is a welcome distraction from his ruthless quest for revenge.

Amleth's killing spree is like something out of a hardcore slasher movie. If this film were not from his perspective, it would clearly be a horror movie rather than a revenge one.

This seems a hotch-potch of familiar things. The story is clearly the ancient tale that inspired Shakespeare to write Hamlet. Director Robert Eggers previously worked with Taylor-Joy on The Witch , which shares this movie's Folk Horror feel. Even Ralph Inneson ( Hurricane Heist ) pops up briefly as a ship's captain.

Pathfinder (2007)

Karl Urban ( Lord of the Rings ) lives among Native Americans - peaceful, nature-loving hippy types. But it is the year 1000CE, and they are invaded by Norsemen. The Christian Vikings are shown as satanic (with horns on their helmets!), out to kill purely for pleasure. Somehow they managed to sail their well-trained war-horses and hunting dogs thousands of miles across the stormy Atlantic ocean!

This film is pure style over substance. The paper-thin plot is merely an excuse for stylish violence with slo-mo, back-lighting and a smoke machine. In one respect this is high-brown fare: the Norse speak their own languages, with English subtitles. Presumably this is the main reason it did not do better financially.

Will the stone-age hunter-gatherers triumph over the strangers who only want to build farmsteads in the New World? Silly question!

Rise of the Viking (2018) AKA Redbad

The Frisians are pagans who live east of the river Rhine, while the Franks are Xians who live on the west side. King Pepin (Jonathan Banks - ) wants to extend the Xian kingdom by conquering the Pagans. King Redbad must unite the Pagans into a Viking army.

The human-level stuff is set on a similar scale to Game of Thrones . However, there is no CGI. They use real castles, which are basically disused wrecks today. The problem is that the buildings should look more contemporary to the inhabitants.

This was adapted into a four-part TV mini-series, with forty minutes of additional footage.

Thor: End of Days (2020)

Thor: God of Thunder (2022)

Thor: Hammer of the Gods (2009)

Valhalla Rising (2009)

No, this is not based on the book of the same name by Clive Cussler . It is an original work directed by Nicholas Winding Refn , famous for the controversial film Only God Forgives . This is in a similar vein. A ruthless, virtually indestructible and morally ambiguous protagonist on a bloodthirsty quest …

One-Eye (Mads Mikkelson - Casino Royale ) is a Viking warrior. He is held prisoner by Pagan Vikings, who send warriors in to fight him to the death. He escapes, and joins a gang of Xian Vikings who decide to sail off and declare a holy war on whatever non-Xians they meet. They end up trapped in a mysterious wilderness than looks like Canada, where persons unknown start shooting arrows at them.

This is an incredibly bleak film, like all of Refn’s work. The characters are unsympathetic, and nobody is guaranteed a happy ending.

Viking Quest (2014)

This is a low-budget effort, made in Eastern Europe. None of the actors were big names at the time, although this is a very early role for Anya Taylor-Joy who has since become a much bigger star.

Koli (short for cauliflower?) is a teenager who was abducted by Vikings led by Ben Cross ( First Knight ). They rename the boy Karl, and he is adopted by the Smith. He is put to work in the smithy, where he invents new things like steel and the crossbow. His next plan is to harness the lightning somehow.

Two warring Viking clans are about to seal a peace treaty with a Royal wedding. Unfortunately a brutal gang of raiders interrupt proceedings and make off with the bride, a Princess. The Vikings are confused - normally THEY do the kidnapping, not the other way around. These raiders wear chainmail armour, far better than the Vikings' leather garb. They are basically the Norman French, although they are called Volsungs. There is one minor difference, however. These are not Catholics, they are Pagans who intend to make the Princess a human sacrifice to Jormungard the World Serpent!

The heroes join a group of survivors, and head after the Volsungs on a rescue mission to save the Princess. She actually does a good job of putting up a fight herself.

The Princess is intended as a human sacrifice to a monster. There is also a girl disguised as a boy, who seeks to avoid the same fate. Yes, this borrows heavily from Dragonslayer (1981) .

Cleopatra (1999)

This is a made-for-TV remake of the great epic. Timothy Dalton ( Flash Gordon ) is Julius Caesar, while some little Italian babe is the title character. The wee girl does some sword-fighting, to make this more acceptable to the Buffy audience. Yes, a Prissy girlie defeats multiple legionaries in a swordfight.

Familiar faces include Indra Ovid ( Space Island One ), Art Malik ( True Lies ), Oded Fehr ( The Mummy ) and Bruce Payne ( Dungeons and Dragons ).

Corialanus (2010)

This is based on a play by William Shakespeare. It was directed by Ralph Feinnes, who also plays the main character. Although the screenplay uses the original dialogue, the story is portrayed in the modern era. With locations that resemble Dubrovnik, this seems a reference to the wars of the breakup of the former Yugoslavia.

Coriolanus (Ralph Feinnes - Skyfall ) is the general in charge of the defence of Rome. He leads an attack on the forces of his arch-enemy (Gerard Butler - Olympus Has Fallen ). Once victorious, he tries to translate this into political success at home. This is all a bit reminiscent of the real-life story of Julius Caesar .

Unfortunately Coriolanus does not manage to get mass popular support. The rabble prefer a career politician (Brian Cox - Manhunter ). In fact, they are so incensed that the Tribune (James Nesbitt - The Hobbit ) has the victorious general punished and sent into exile.

Coriolanus seeks out his arch-enemy, Gerry B, and volunteers to lead the foreign army against Rome. The result is a successful invasion. Will the saviour of Rome now become its destroyer?

Coriolanus' mother ( Vanessa Redgrave ) and wife ( Jessica Chastain ), in a few small but vital scenes, try to turn the tide.

Falstaff: Chimes at Midnight (1965)

Sir John Falstaff (Orson Welles - ) appears across several of Shakespeare's history plays, as a recurring companion of young Prince Hal. This film joins those scenes together as a single narrative, directed by Welles himself. It was shot in black and white, which adds a historical feel to it, and the locations are quite impressive.

MacBeth (1948)

This is a 1950s black and white version, with the title character played by Orson Welles . The sets seem to be the same ones from Brigadoon - but this is filmed in black&white, so it is more serious and sinister. Also, there are no songs.

MacBeth (2015)

This is an arthouse movie by a European director, made mainstream by a big budget and the presence of recognisable stars. The battle scenes have stylish slo-mo, putting it artistically speaking far above the clichés of Hollywood claptrap.

The story is a familiar one. MacBeth (Michael Fassbender - Haywire ) is the general who commands the Kingdom of Scotland’s forces. Egged on by his wife ( Marion Cotillard ) he assassinates the king, and takes the throne for himself. Banquo (Paddy Considine - Dead Man’s Shoes ) is MacBeth’s loyal sidekick, Banquo. MacDuff is like wise played by a familiar face, a rent-a-villain with a powerful screen presence.

The story retains the original Shakespearean dialogue. What is original, beyond the cast and style, is the setting. It was filmed mainly on location in the Scottish Highlands, so it emphasises the brutality of Braveheart rather than the subtlety of other films.

Merchant of Venice (2005)

This play, written by Shakespeare (an Englishman who never visited Venice in real life), has been given authentic costumes and settings. It keeps more or less to the original story, though certain nice touches have been added.

Venice, circa 1590. Antonio (Jeremy Irons - Dungeons and Dragons ), the title character, borrows money from the Jewish money-lender Shylock. The small print? If Antonio cannot repay the debt in time, Shylock can instead claim a pound of Antonio's flesh!

Al Pacino, famous for OTT acting, here manages to rein himself in as Shylock. The other performances are also impressive. Oddly, the female lead ( Lynn Collins ) is a newcomer who was last-minute replacement for a big-name star ( Gwyneth Paltrow ). Perhaps she will get more opportunities in the future ...

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead (1990)

This is based on a stage-play, itself a pastiche of Hamlet by William Shakespeare.

Renaissance Denmark, and the title characters (Tim Roth and Gary Oldman) ride to the Royal castle. Their luck has changed - but they begin to suspect that now fate has taken over.

Prince Hamlet (Iain Glen - Lara Croft: Tomb Raider ) has summoned them to attend him. A mysterious theatre-master (Richard Dreyfuss - Jaws ) dogs their footsteps, and from the sidelines they watch Hamlet’s story unfold.

Oldman accidentally stumbles across a number of scientific discoveries, thus revealing the characters’ potential. Roth, meanwhile, attempts to discover what is going on. And the disturbing realization that they are mere players, and all their world is a stage, is never far away.

Taming of the Shrew, The (1967)

Lucentio (Michael York - ) arrives in the city of Padua, Italy, circa the year 1600. He falls in love with a young woman there, but he cannot marry her until her sister Katherine ( Elizabeth Taylor ) is married. He hires Richard Burton ( Equus ) to seduce Katherine.

This was adapted and directed by Franco Zeffirelli . Because it was filmed on location in Italy, it lacks the stage-limited feel of earlier Shakespeare adaptations. Although the leads were veterans who were married in real life, this is one of Michael York's first movie roles.

The Tempest (1998)

Cajun magick-man Mr Prosper (Peter Fonda - Ghost Rider ) lives in the Bayou with his slave Arial (Harold Perrineau - Lost ) and daughter Miranda ( Katherine Heigl ).

Prospero's eeevil brother, John Glover ( Smallville ) helps the local residents defend themselves from those Damn Yankee invaders.

Forbidden Planet

Titus (1999)

This is a 1999 version of Shakespeare’s Titus Andronicus. General Titus (Anthony Hopkins - Hannibal ) loyally serves the Emperor (Alan Cummings - Goldeneye ). However, Jessica Lange plots against him.

The makers retained the original Shakespearean dialogue, though the sets and costumes are Art Deco. The sadistic violence is typically shakespearean - think of Theatre of Blood . And Titus' revenge reminds one of of Hopkins' most famous role!

Hopkins is ably supported by Colm Fiore ( Chronicles of Riddick ) and Angus Macfadyen ( Braveheart, Saw 3 ).

Tristan and Isolde (2006)

This is a tale from the Dark Ages, and inspired the Lancelot/Guinevere subplot within the Arthurian legends. Historical and geographical accuracy are nowhere to be found - the map shows Dunluce Castle somewhere near Dublin!

Tristan (James Franco - Spiderman ) is orphaned by Irish raiders, and is raised by King Marke (Rufus Sewell - Knight's Tale ). By a strange twist of fate he falls in love with Isolde ( Sophia Myles ), daughter of the eevil High King of Ireland.

Kevin Reynolds delivers some nicely-executed action scenes. The romance is well done, though the plot is old enough to seem predictable. All in all - watchable, though it is easy to see why it flopped.

Adventures of Robinson Crusoe (1953)

Crusoe (Dan O'Herlihy - Halloween 3 ) is a rich man who is shipwrecked somewhere on the coast of Brazil. The good news is that he gets to salvage some useful items from the wreck. The bad news is that he seems to be the only survivor. As a wealthy man who was used to ordering servants around, he has no practical skills so he needs to learn as he goes along.

The island is used as a feasting site by some cannibals. Crusoe manages to save one of their victims. He names the newcomer Friday, and uses him as a servant. Worse, since Crusoe's original voyage was intended to buy African slaves and transport them to plantations in Brazil, there is a handy set of manacles so Crusoe can enslave Friday. In part this is due to a lack of trust - after all, Friday's culture is the same as the cannibals who tried to eat him. However, this makes Crusoe seem quite unsympathetic. To be fair, this is a case of portrayal-not-endorsement. Crusoe is not intended as a role model in these matters, simply as a depiction of a man from centuries earlier whose values and attitudes were very different from our own.

Some white men also visit the island, twenty-eight years after Crusoe was originally marooned there. They are not pirates, but mutineers. This is an important difference, since mutineers represent a much smaller percentage of their crew. Crusoe uses Friday as bait to entrap the mutineers ...

Against All Flags (1952)

This is a swashbuckler from the golden age of the swordsmen of the silver screen. The opening title card provides the necessary exposition. In the year 1700, pirates operating out of the Republic of Libertatia on the island of Madagascar are a constant threat to the rich sea trade routes in the Indian Ocean. After all, before the Suez canal all European ships had to go via the Cape of Good Hope if they wanted to reach India.

Leftenant Hawk (Errol Flynn - Sea Hawk (1940) ), a Royal Navy officer, is sent undercover with a couple of other sailors posing as deserters from a merchant vessel. Hawk gets himself a professional whipping, twenty lashes, to make himself a convincing deserter. Flynn is certainly not convincing as a man who has received a severe flogging

The Captains of the Coast sit in judgement of the newcomers. This is all a bit reminiscent of the Pirates of the Carribean series, which ends up with a Pirate Queen. In this movie, one of the Pirate Captains is Spitfire Stevens ( Maureen O'Hara ) - a liberated woman who is the equal of any man, and even does some sword-fighting in the climactic battle.

Spitfire takes a liking to Hawk. Unfortunately Captain Barsilliano (Anthony Quinn - Sinbad The Sailor ) has a liking for Spitfire, and wants to be rid of his rival.

Things get more complicated when the pirates attack a ship that is owned by the Great Moghul himself, the muslim Emperor of India. Only Hawk knows that one of the hostages they kidnap is actually a Princess. Now he has to protect her as well as sabotage the port's defences so that the Royal Navy can conquer the pirate menace.

Anne of the Indies (1951)

The protagonist ( Jean Peters ) is a female buccaneer.

Fortunes of Captain Blood (1950)

The hero is sold into slavery for doctoring the survivors of the Battle of Sedgemoor. He ends up in the Caribbean, where he leads a rebellion of the other white slaves. They steal a ship and become pirates.

Captain Blood, Fugitive (1952) AKA Captain Pirate

Captain Blood, Fugitive (1952) AKA Captain Pirate

This is a sequel to Fortunes of Captain Blood (1950) . The protagonist's fiance even narrates a flashback to the events of the first film, complete with sepia-toned clips of all the best bits. In the original he was sold into slavery for doctoring the survivors of the Battle of Sedgemoor, while now he is unpopular because for secretly doctoring runaway slaves.

Blood gets framed for sacking the Spanish Empire's city of Cartagena. He gets rescued by his former crew, and they set off to find the actual pirates. This involves Blood disguising himself, and back-tracking some of the stolen Spanish merchandise.

Fortunes of Captain Blood (1950)

Golden Hawk, The (1952)

The Golden Hawk, Captain Girardo (Sterling Hayden - ), is a swashbuckler and a ladies man. He tangles with a red-headed beauty named Rouge ( Rhonda Fleming ), who turns out to be more than he can handle.

Hayden was a strange casting choice. He was at home on the sea - when the old CIA man in Three Days of the Condor refers to his time in the OSS during World War Two by saying I sailed the Adriatic with a movie star at the helm, he was referring to Hayden. However, in this role Hayden just looks too old - in fact, he looks the same age as the man playing his father. This is of course being generouis enough to overlook the fact that nobody in the cast really attempts a Spanish or French accent. The other thing that is unusual about the credits is that the female co-star actually gets first billing, with Hayden below her.

The story is set in the 1600s, during some kind of ahistorical alliance between England and Spain. They apparently united to control the Caribbean sea, which brought them into conflict with the French. In retaliation, the French hire privateers like Girardo and his sidekick (Michael Ansara - Buck Rogers ). Girardo has more personal motivation - a grudge against Luis Del Toro, the Spanish governor of Cartaghena.

Light at the Edge of the World (1971)

Will Denton (Kirk Douglas - Spartacus, Saturn 3 ) is a lighthouse keeper on an island off the Tierra Del Fuego, safeguarding sea traffic between the Atlantic and Pacific oceans a few decades before the Panama Canal was opened. This was the loneliest spot on Earth, but also an incredibly vital one.

A pirate ship arrives, and the crew quickly conquer the island. Captain Jonathan Kongre (Yul Brynner - Taras Bulba ), a former slave-ship operator, plans to lure cargo ships onto the rocks. In the meantime, he keeps his crew occupied by letting them hunt for the lighthouse-keeper.

The first ship they wreck is a passenger ship from California. It goes down in a shipwreck scene that lacks the graphic impact of the Disaster genre which took off a couple of years after this came out. There is only one lifeboat-load of passengers who survive, and they are wiped out by the pirates - in yet another scene that lacks graphic impact. Arabella Ponsonby ( Samantha Eggar ) is taken alive by the pirates, and used as bait to lure Will out of hiding. However, Will manages to rescue one of the crew and they start bumping off the pirates one at a time.

The 1970s was a time for grim movies with downbeat endings. This may have been made at the start of the decade, but it certainly embraces a lot of the tropes.

Master and Commander: Far Side of the World (2003)

Jack Aubrey (Russell Crowe - Gladiator ) is captain of a Royal Navy warship during the Napoleonic wars. Stephen Maturin (Paul Bettany - A Knight's Tale ) is his friend and companion, a civilian stationed aboard the ship as medic and intelligence officer.

James Darcy ( Agent Carter ) is second officer. The enlisted crew includes a few more familiar faces, including Billy Boyd ( Lord of the Rings ) and Joseph Morgan ( The Originals ).

This story is based on a couple of books from the Aubrey-Maturin series by Patrick O'Brien. They are mish-mashed together, with a US privateer from the War of 1812 now cast as a French naval vessel a decade earlier. The reason for the change is obvious. The filmmakers did not want to estrange the American audiennce, because with twenty books in the series there was plenty of room for this to become a new franchise. Instead, more light-hearted things like Pirates of the Carribean were successful and set a more light-hearted tone for the next decade's worth of action films.

Sandokan: Pirate of Malaysia (1964) AKA I pirati della Malesia

Sandokan (Steve Reeves - Hercules (1958) ) is a Muslim pirate in the Islamic Empire of Malaysia. This Empire is conquered by the British, whose Empire was more economically progressive and socially liberal. Naturally, Sandokan teams up with the Islamo-Fascists to undo this massive leap forward.

This is a typical action-adventure effort from the swords-and-sandals era of the 1950s. It is basically the Italian equivalent of the Swashbuckler subgenre of action-adventure in a historical setting. Reeves himself, a former bosy-builder, is the fore-runner of 1980s stars like Arnold Schwarzenegger. The down side is the dubbing, which disappears in one scene and is replaced by the original Italian. More confusingly, the villain's English surname Brooke is replaced by the Irish surname Burke ...

So why did the Italians not make this movie about Islamic freedom fighters in Libya fighting against the Italian Empire? Well, when the Libyans themselves made such a movie it was banned in Italy because of a law made by Benito Mussolini which criminalises any negative portrayal of the Italian military. Hence the Italians chose to make the bad guys British - as petty revenge for the defeat of Fascist Italy in the Second World War.

Sea Hawk (1940)

2000

Pirates of the Caribbean 3: At World's End (2007)

Gore Verbinski gives us the third, most overblown and shallow piece in the once-fine series. This is perhaps an exaggeration - after all, the second film was overblown and shallow as well.

The heroic Pirates go to Singapore, and try to recruit local warlord Chow Yun-Fat ( Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon ). All the pirates are being squeezed by the East India Company, which is privatising the whole world.

The Pirates must use Voodoo magic to rescue Jack Sparrow, although he does a pretty good job himself. The Voodoo woman from the second film has a much expanded part, which is not a problem. However, a number of characters who are vital to the second film are written off in a most anti-climactic fashion!

Keira Knightley has to work out which of her love interests she is meant to end up with. That is actually her major plot thread. Despite this, she does get to do a very piratey thing indeed.

Finally, everyone meets up for a big sea battle. Lots of CGI is used, and it is ... well, overblown and shallow.

The final scene - the VERY final scene - is after the credits. Yes, after about five minutes of credits. Hmm. Whether it is worth the wait is up to yourself.

POTC: Curse of the Black Pearl

POTC: Dead Man's Chest

Pirates of the Caribbean 4: On Stranger Tides (2011)

Yes, it has been a few years since the last movie. Jack was last seen setting off in search of the Fountain of Youth. Well, he got distracted and ended up in Georgian London. Penelope Cruz , an old flame of Jack's, is recruiting a new pirate crew.

The Spanish have dispatched a crew to locate the Fountain. Captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rushe - House on Haunted Hill ) now looks a lot older, and has accepted a commission as a privateer in the pay of King George II. He wants to find the Fountain too. And Blackbeard (Ian McShane - Golden Compass ) himself is after it as well.

POTC: Curse of the Black Pearl

POTC: Dead Man's Chest

Pirates of the Caribbean 5: Salazar's Revenge (2017) AKA Dead Men Tell No Tales

This takes up after the end-credits sequence of the third film. We all thought that the heroes got their happy-ever-after ending. It turns out that the curse was not broken at all, and Will Turner still has to serve the rest of eternity as Captain of the Flying Dutchman. However, his young son is obsessed with ending the curse. The one item that will do the trick is Neptune's Trident. Since this is a Disney film, presumably Neptune is the father of Tia Dalma.

Nine years later (five after the events of the previous film, On Stranger Tides ) the young lad is a crewman aboard a Royal Navy warship. They pursue an enemy ship into the Devil's Triangle, presumably a reference to the Bermuda Triangle. By incredible coincidence, Turner Junior is the sole survivor of an encounter with an undead maniac - Captain Salazar (Javier Bardem - Skyfall ). This man is captain of an undead crew (like Barbossa in the first film), and is renowned as the greatest enemy that the pirates have ever had (like Blackbeard in the previous film). And he swears vengeance on Jack Sparrow above all other men.

By incredible coincidence, all the major plot threads meet up at the colony of St Martin. It is supposedly in the Caribbean but more likely in Australia. After all, the town's mayor is Bruce Spence ( Mad Max 2: Road Warrior ).

The movie's token woman ( Kaya Scoledario ) is a complete Mary Sue. She is accused of witchcraft, but is merely a woman of science. The ridiculousness of her scientific approach is pointed out many times in a series that features many magical aspects. However, the fact that she is a penniless orphan just out of her teens and yet somehow managed to educate herself to be the greatest scientist in the hemisphere is a lot less than believable. She is paired with Turner Junior as her love interest, though they have little in common. He becomes bland and uninteresting as quickly as she appears. His own motivation becomes secondary to the storyline, as if just a way of squeezing the series' two most popular characters back into the story.

Captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush - House On Haunted Hill (1999) ) has retired from privateering, and become the most successful pirate in the Caribbean. He reluctantly makes a deal with Salazar, but learns what his real treasure is and actually develops as a character.

The result is a bit of a mess. The main couple are bland an unappealing, which leaves Barbossa to steal every scene that he is in. There are a few anachronistic sail-punk mechanisms which create the swinging-back-and-forth type of scene that not only looks great in 3-D, but is also reminiscent of the series' theme park ride origins. However, the whole thing is basically style over substance.

POTC: Curse of the Black Pearl

POTC: Dead Man's Chest

Seventh Voyage of Sinbad, The (1958)

This is a technicolour masterpiece from the 1950s. Although the title character may be Sinbad the Sailor (played by an unmemorable B-movie actor) the movie is completely stolen by the claymation monsters created by the great Ray Harryhausen .

An evil Wizard (Torin Thatcher - Lost in Space ) curses the Princess. Sinbad and his crew sail off to the wizard's island, where they must fight their way past the giant claymation monsters so they can defeat the Wizard and save the Princess.

Sinbad and the Minotaur (2011)

Sinbad is Manu Bennett - the Kiwi-accented Gaul Crixus from Spartacus: Blood and Sand . He and his buddies are after the golden head of the Colossus of Rhodes, which is concealed somewhere on an Aegean island.

They are joined by a feisty princess in a slave-girl outfit. Wow, that's original. But then, Sinbad is not something that should be associated with originality.

The merry men are pursued by a bald-headed necromancer and his sidekick, some kind of leopard-man. Like characters from the 1970s movies.

While the minotaur of the title is an enormous carnivorous CGI Bull, there are plenty of man-beasts for Sinbad and his friends to fight.

Seven Adventures of Sinbad, The (2010) AKA Sinbad: The Persian Prince

The Asylum produces another typically low-budget effort. This one is set in the modern day, to cut down on the costs of period costumes and props.

A gang of Somali pirates hijack an oil tanker in the Indian Ocean. The shipping company's owner (Patrick Muldoon - Battlestar Galactica (2003) ), a descendant of Sinbad, personally takes the ransom to the delivery point. Simon Magnusson (Bo Svenson - ) takes control of the headquarters.

This then leads Sinbad to encounter CGI monsters, as an updated version of the original movies. Luckily he has a woman in a skimpy outfit to help him.

Sinbad and the Clash of the Furies (2016)

Sinbad is a modern-day treasure-hunter, the distant descendant of the ancient explorer. He and and flat-mate discover a cave in Mexico where Perseus the Greek stashed his loot. This includes a fabulous emerald, the Heart of Medusa, which is the main plot device of the story.

A Russian gangster named Manta is after the emerald, in order to weaponise it somehow. His henchman is a thug with an eye-patch. Since the cyclops is clearly metaphorical, it seems that magic would not literally exist in this storyline. However three beautiful women, the Furies, are after the stone as well - and they definitely have magical powers.

This was produced by The Asylum, and has all their low-budget straight-to-video hallmarks. However, it is relatively well written and has a few witty moments. All in all, not a terrible movie.

Sinbad And The Eye Of The Tiger (1977)

Sinbad: Legend Of The Seven Seas (2003)

Sinbad (Brad Pitt - Troy ) and his pirates defy Eris ( Michelle Pfeiffer ), goddess of Chaos. They even defeat her pet, the Kraken.

Sinbad meets up with his old friend, and the friend's hot new girlfriend ( Catherine Zeta Jones ). When Eris steals the city's gem and frames Sinbad, this leads to a moral quandry. The friend offers to stay as a prisoner in Sinbad's place, while Sinbad goes off on a quest to recover the gem. But if Sinbad does not return with the gem within a month then his friend will be executed in his stead.

This is a good movie that flopped financially, probably because the celebrity voice-actors increased the budget by an order of magnitude. It seems to have influenced Pirates of the Carribean , which became a very successful five-film franchise.

Treasure Island (1950)

Long John Silver (Robert Newton - ) is up to no good.

Long John Silver (1954)

Long John Silver (Robert Newton - ) and his crew spend their time in a tavern. The woman who owns the place wants to trap him in marriage for some reason, and he prefers to avoid such a fate.

Silver finds a clue to more of Captain Flint's buried treasure. To do that he needs a medallion that he gave to Jim Hawkins at the end of the events of Treasure Island . Unfortunately Jim has been abducted by a rival pirate named Mendoza, who goes under the nom-de-guerre of El Toro.

The forces of law and order seem remarkably inept. The Governor has it within his power to pardon Silver for outstanding warrants, but it never occurs to him that Silver might be prosecuted or extradited. The town jail has a wall so flimsy it can be torn down by a couple of horse-power. When they maroon the pirates, nobody bothers to search Silver and confiscate his brace of pistols!

Finally, the story mimics the original storyline. Flint plots a mutiny, and Jim accidentally overhears the plotters. Finally they get to Treasure Island ... again. There is still a marooned pirate there, but it is not the friendly Ben Gunn. It is Israel Hands, the expert cut-throat, and he takes Silver's crew out one by one. They get besieged in the old stockade, and then pursued as they search for the buried treasure. Jim gets stalked by Israel Hands ... Yes, all the best bits of the original are mimicked.

Treasure Island (1950)

Treasure Island (1972)

This starts as a faithful adaptation of the classic tale by Robert Louis Stevenson , shot on location and narrated by the older version of protagonist Jim Hawkins. Jim's mother spends her time with young Doctor Livesey, so Jim spends too much time with scary old sailor Billy Bones. When Billy's former colleagues come a calling, the old pirate hands Jim a special pouch for safe-keeping. It turns out that the pouch contains a treasure map, which the pirates will do anything to obtain.

Jim tells lots of adults about his secret, including Squire Trelawney. This inspires Trelawney to hire a ship and a crew, and to take Jim and Doctor Livesey along. Jim, now officially the expedition's cabin boy, visits the Spyglass Inn to recruit a crew. He meets Long John Silver (Orson Welles - Transformers (1986) ), who explains that his nickname comes from his speciality of feeding the crew with Long Pig - AKA human flesh.

The main problem so far with this film is it appears to be originally shot in a different language, possibly Italian or Spanish, and then dubbed back into English. This was not a problem with the spaghetti westerns, when stars like Clint Eastwood made themselves available to perform their own lines in English. However, what is apparent in this particular movie is that while Orson Welles may play the role it does not appear to be his voice that does the talking.

Treasure Island (1990)

Long John Silver (Charlton Heston - ) is up to no good.

Treasure Island (2011)

This is a made-for-TV effort, shown on UK satellite channel Sky television as part of its New Years Day line-up.

Unlike the book, but in common with most adaptations, we know from the very start that Long John Silver (Eddie Izzard - Mystery Men ) is up to no good. But the gentlemen who help Jim in his quest are also given more characterisation than in any previous version. Dr. Livesey (Daniel Mays - Outcasts ) is cast as a coward. Squire Trelawney (Rupert Penry-Jones - The Strain ) is a money-grubbing and brutal fool. Only good old Captain Smollett (Philip Glenister - Life on Mars ) is allowed any sense of honour or decency, in line with the character in the original book.

In Part 2 of the story our young hero, Jim-Lad, is marooned with cast-away Ben Gunn (Elijah Wood - Lord of the Rings ). Poor Gunn is haunted by memories of Captain Flint (Donald Sutherland - Don't look Now ).